#[ I don't think I will ever get into words how much I love and care for y'all ]

[naamahdarling]

I agree. I've been thinking about this so much, and I'm so frustrated with it, because there's a point at which I have to concede that when it comes to some things, there is no answer that lives up to my ideals.

I also think the rejection of the word "reform" in favor of "abolition" is partly due to how we have seen efforts to "reform" things go absolutely nowhere but to the bank with taxpayer money to cut a fat check to police departments that they use for "training" and body cams that then do fuckall. If that's reform, I want to kill that, too.

I am in favor of making prison as we know it (a locus of abuse and injustice that is in no way oriented towards helping anyone at all, as well as a source of legal slave labor) go away. Forever. So I have asked people the prison abolition questions. I have never gotten an answer beyond "we will support victims and with the measures we want to put into place there will be fewer offenders." Good. Okay. I want that, for sure. You have my full support. I get lost when I run into "That's a distraction." It isn't. I'm not saying we refuse to work on this until every bit of it is hammered out. I'm saying it very much is something we will need to grapple with, and it's actually a major thing because how we handle extreme cases of ANYTHING is THE purest form of principles.

It isn't a gotcha to say "if you do not have a plan for non-lethally dealing with people like Jeffrey Dahmer, because people like that exist and will continue to do so, you do not have a fully realized plan, you have some really good ideas that I already support."

"I don't know, we are working on that, it's an issue, we have a lot of ground to cover before then, and some of that ground will undoubtedly point us at some of those answers" is kind of where I fall, and it is a lot more honest than what I usually get, which is "Well, YOU need to imagine what that looks like, what do YOU think? This is for YOU, and all of us, to come up with. But don't ask about extreme outliers, that just shows you support the status quo and want alternatives to fail."

That isn't an answer that goes anywhere. Because I have thought about it extensively. And my answer is "putting them someplace pleasant that they can't leave, where they can't ever hurt anyone, and caring for them, all the while watching them like a hawk for the rest of their lives, because they simply cannot be allowed what we would call true freedom".

No community I know of is capable of managing someone like that while allowing them to go free, nor should the burden of that risk be placed on any community. I wouldn't consent to having someone like that living in my community, and one dissenting vote should be enough to keep them out, shouldn't it? And if they just cut and run, well. The next community maybe won't even know they're there until they do something that could have been prevented. Whose community in the first place? The one where they offended? Because that's...that's actually not okay. Which one, if there were several?

Outliers exist and have to be considered, because if you don't, you wind up with vigilante justice out of self-defense, or a string of inexcusable, monstrous acts continuing unopposed until the person dies, but the victims, or whoever is left who loved them, at least get "support."

I don't want to say "I support reform" because my god does that ever sound lukewarm at best. But I don't have a plan for the parts of abolition that don't already overlap with reform.

I want a word for "reform" that means "we are incredibly pissed off and we do intend to tear this apart beyond the point of recognition and make something new" but that can't happen in one stroke. At the very least, there are going to be long transitional periods while we restructure shit and get people used to the new ways of doing things.

I don't like all my answers, but I haven't been presented with anything better. I want to be. But some people get really pissed when I genuinely ask them to please show me a better way that I can actually believe in.

The other reason I'm generally annoyed with the "Abolish X" crowd who actually DO mean "abolish X" and not a watered-down version is that ime they very rarely have fully thought out the implications of what they're demanding and then get angry when other people ask about it.

"Family abolition means completely removing legal ties for family units and allowing all children the choice of where they live" okay. So if I see a three-year-old throwing a fit because she doesn't want to leave the park, and I go over and tell her if she comes home with me she can stay as long as she likes and then we'll get McDonald's on the way home, that three-year-old should have the ability to make that decision? The parent or guardian has no legal recourse to stop me from taking her? Cause if the answer's no, that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

"I'm done talking about what we'll do with rapists and murderers after we abolish prisons, it's all anybody ever wants to talk about!" Well yeah man! 98% of people just interpreted your words as "we're going to let murderers roam around killing people at will"! You need to explain very clearly what plans you have that will stop them that aren't incarceration or you're not going to make any headway! And if your answer involves any form of "well of course SOME people can't be allowed total freedom" - that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

I'm not even gonna touch the number of people who think we should abolish the police and replace them with what are essentially roaming squads of vigilantes dispensing "community justice", whatever the fuck that means.

Like these aren't "gotcha" questions, they're legitimate problems you're going to have to contend with. And if you wave away all these questions with "you're just making up ridiculous scenarios" and "we'll think of something to fix that once we destroy the current system", then yeah actually, I DO think you care more about sounding radical than about making any kind of change.

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻

The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.

The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.

Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.

But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.

Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly

If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?

Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know

Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..

To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind

Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave

Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.

I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.

Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little

Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again

The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.

She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.

Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.

That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her

I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers

Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment

Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure

She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers

Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true

Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile

Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile

''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''

Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled

Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down

Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players

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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.

The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other

''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze

There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair

Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him

There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more

No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head

Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room

''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath

Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me

Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed

As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.

You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes

I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor

Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it

''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other

Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it

This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate

Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor

Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath

Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly

''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again

What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared

Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room

What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath

What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses

The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset

What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor

This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside

No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it

'' 10..9..8..7 ''

NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell

''6…5…4…3''

PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..

''2…1…''

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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper @etta-huracan @cupiid1 @alianacelinecolux @juliexz @duchcess

[sauerhundz]

Rafayel Rant

My man literally doomed his people for us. If that isn't dedication I don't know what is. He also seems the only (Love interest) that wants mc to actively remember their previous lives, constantly reminding us that we've 'forgotten' something.

And I think it might just be Western bias/stereotypes around men, but I hate how the fandom as whole represents him as a whiny brat when he is so much deeper than that. And yeah he can be annoying sometimes but wouldn't you also be irritated and mopey if the person you love has forgotten about you multiple times after everything you've been through.

Yes he's sassy and yes he's needy and dramatic at times. But he misses you and doesn't know any other way to express it.

Not to mention he's a romantic at heart. If you listen to any of his secret time audios you would know that he really does care about you. Hell, he lied about needing a bodyguard just to get you to be around him more. Even in his recent card [Intertidal Zone] you can see that sweet/caring nature come out. He sings a Lemurian love song to lull you to sleep at your request.

Not to mention he has a dark side.

1. If you look back at his interactions with anyone other than MC. He's only ever (ha) nice to you. Because outside of you Rafayel's kind of an asshole. (Chapter 8 *cough*) Not to mention his underlying hatred for humans

2. He has stalked mc

3. He has murdered and lied to your face about it

4. He's definitely done some criminal work. Did you see how effortlessly he blended in, in chapter 8. Not to mention he has, in his own words, ‘connections' to the underbelly of Linkon

——> You don’t have to like him, but don’t give him unnecessary hate, pls 🙏

Please give our fishy boi some justice. #JusticeforRaf 😔

[4linos]

behind closed doors

kim seungmin x fem!reader

synopsis/request: When you overhear Seungmin's parents' doubts about your relationship, you’re left questioning if you can ever measure up to their expectations until Seungmin’s support reminds you of what truly matters.

wc: 1948

It was an evening you had both anticipated and dreaded: your first meeting with Seungmin's family. The entire day had been a mixture of excitement and nerves for you.

Seungmin's parents and sister were very important to him, and you naturally wanted to make a good impression. Everything had started off nicely enough. His parents were polite and respectable, while his sister was vibrant and charming. They all seemed really friendly, which relieved some of the stress in your chest. However, there was an underlying pressure to appear as if you were the right person for Seungmin in their eyes. You wanted to show them how serious you were about him and the relationship.

Seungmin was his usual self, loving and fun, in stark contrast to the formal atmosphere you were trying to navigate. As the night went on, you tried to figure out a balance between being yourself and what you believed his family would expect from someone in your position.

You laughed a little too loudly at his father's jokes, became overly passionate talking about unimportant topics, and may have made a couple too many silly remarks. You didn't want to be too stiff or too serious; it felt like you were trying to draw a careful balance between demonstrating that you were polite and truly interested in getting to know them, while still allowing your personality to peek through.

But then came the time when you excused yourself to go the bathroom. You'd noticed a strange tightening in your chest, an almost unbearable sensation of pressure. Maybe it was the food, or it could have been the nerves. Regardless, you needed a time to breathe.

As you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to settle yourself down, you had no idea that the thin walls allowed you to hear faint sounds on the other side. You weren't trying to eavesdrop; your mind was busy with your own ideas. But when the conversation you overheard started, it was like a punch to the stomach.

The words came through clearly, and they stung more than you expected. Seungmin's mother spoke softly yet firmly. "Do you think she's the one, Seungmin?" she asked, somewhat hesitantly.

You felt your heart speed up as his father spoke out, his tone condemning, "She seems so playful, too much so, don't you think?" "She doesn't seem to take things seriously." That was hardly the worst of it.

His father went on to say, "Seungmin, she is not marriage material. You need someone more grounded, someone who knows what it means to settle down.

Your throat tightened as the words struck you harder than expected. You wanted to run back into the room and interrupt, but your legs felt heavy, and your mind was racing to find a way to mask your pain. His mother continued, almost sadly, "She doesn't seem to be serious about you or this relationship. She seems too... young, too carefree."

Seungmin's voice came next, quieter than the others and almost protective. "She's just not used to...this," he explained. "She's a little different from what you expect, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care." His father was obviously unconvinced. "It's more than just caring, Seungmin. "She lacks the necessary maturity."

Then, maybe recognizing just how difficult the topic was for her brother, Seungmin's sister interrupted with more than a hint of impatience. "Mom and Dad, stop! She's great. You don't understand. She's like me; she's lively, warm, and kind. I really like her.”

It was comforting to hear someone fight for you, even if it was Seungmin's sister. You stood motionless, the hurt of their words still echoing in your chest. But you didn't have the courage to confront them right away.

What could you possibly say?

You tried so hard, probably too hard, to appear mature and serious, but it didn't feel like it was enough.

You stood in the bathroom for a while longer, feeling the weight of their judgment. You had tried to be someone you thought they’d want, but in doing so, you realized that you hadn’t really been yourself. You didn’t know how to process the idea that, maybe, you weren’t seen as good enough for Seungmin not by his parents, at least.

When you finally returned to the room, you knew something had changed. The air felt different. Seungmin’s sister, noticing your quieter demeanor, tried to shift the atmosphere by asking you more about your hobbies. “Wait, you like pottery?” she asked with wide eyes, an obvious attempt to get you talking.

"Yeah," you said quietly, trying to keep a light tone, "I've been getting into it lately. It's sort of relaxing." Her eyes sparkled with genuine enthusiasm. "No way! I've been doing pottery for several months now! That’s great!" She gasped, smiled warmly, attempting to lighten the mood even further. "We should definitely do something together. It will be so much fun! I can teach you some tricks; I'm very good at it."

For a little while, the connection you had with his sister managed to reduce some of the nervousness. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being watched in ways you hadn't expected, and that something was wrong. Seungmin also noticed the shift in you. He kept looking at you, brow wrinkled, stare kind yet anxious. His eyes would wander between you and his parents, almost as if he sensed something was wrong, but he didn't push.

Dinner continued, but the lightness was gone. His sister made more small talk, and you tried to engage, but it felt forced. Every time you tried to speak, Seungmin's gaze lingered on you, looking for answers he had not asked for. His parents, while being respectful, seemed to fall into silence after their earlier talk. You couldn't help but feel like an outsider in a space that you had hoped would feel like home.

You told yourself that you were overreacting. Maybe it was all in your head. But every time Seungmin's parents spoke to you, you felt judged, as if you hadn't proven yourself in their eyes. His sister, sensing your uneasiness, attempted to change the subject as much as possible, but the shadow of their words hung over you.

When the evening drew to an end, Seungmin led you to the door. You were calmer, almost withdrawn. You didn't want him to know how much it hurt, yet the disappointment persisted. As you grabbed for the door handle, Seungmin's voice broke the silence, softer than normal.

"Are you alright? You've been unusually quiet recently." You smiled, pretending everything was alright, but the weight of the evening hung heavy on your chest. "I'm fine," you said, but neither of you found it believable. "Just... tired, I guess." He didn't press any more, but his eyes were gentle and concerned, indicating that he had observed the change in you. "If you need to talk... anything, I'm here," he said softly, his fingers brushing over yours. You nodded, trying to smile, but it was hard to shake the feeling that you weren't enough, that you would never be enough for his family, no matter how hard you tried.

The cold breeze as you stepped into the peaceful night air did little to relieve the pressure in your chest. You strolled beside Seungmin, his arm brushing against yours in a way that used to comfort you but now only increased to the gap you felt between yourself and what had happened inside. The drive home was quiet, with the hum of the engine filling the gaps between the silences. Seungmin was still looking at you, his eyes flickering back and forth as if he wanted to question, to comprehend, but didn't want to push. His hands clutched the driving wheel tighter than usual, and the stress was evident. You could feel his anxiety, but you were not yet ready to talk. You weren’t sure how.

When you arrived at the apartment, he parked and sat for a time, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "I know you're not okay," he continued, his voice lower than usual. "Whatever happened tonight, please tell me. I'm here. But you don't have to if you aren't actually ready. You paused, unsure where to begin, but the weight of the overheard conversation, judgment, and unsaid expectations pressed down on you, threatening to spill over. "I don't know," you said, your voice trembling. "It's just hard, Seungmin. I tried so hard to fit in, to prove that I am... enough for you. But it seems like nothing I did mattered. They say I'm too childish, too carefree, and that I can’t take things seriously." Your voice caught, and you looked away, suddenly feeling exposed.

Seungmin's stare softened, and you thought you noticed a glint of frustration in his eyes, not at you, but at the situation. He reached over, softly squeezing your hand. "You are not too much of anything. I adore you for being who you are. I apologize if they made you feel uncomfortable. That is their problem, not yours.” You struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to flow, but they fell regardless.

The irritation, the hurt, and the overwhelming sensation of not being able to measure up all spilled out of you in an instant. Seungmin wasn't trying to stop you. He just sat there, holding your hand, allowing you to cry. His thumb traced small circles over your skin, the simple act offering more comfort than words ever could.

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to change," he said after a moment, his voice quiet and steady. "I understand they can be difficult. But I love you for who you are. I have never wanted anyone else. And you don't have to fake or change to make people see it." You sniffled and looked up at him with hazy eyes. "What if they never see it?" What if they never realize I'm serious about us? about you?" "They will," Seungmin replied confidently. "It may take time. And while they may not understand it right now, they will eventually see what I see. And in the meantime, all that matters is what we see in each other.”

You took a long breath, hoping to settle your rushing thoughts. Seungmin was right. The weight of his family's expectations should not be entirely on your shoulders. You weren't perfect. You didn't meet their expectations. What mattered most was that Seungmin saw you for who you were and loved you despite, or perhaps because of, your differences. "I'm sorry I've been so distant tonight," you said, wiping your tears. "I just didn't know how to handle all of it." He smiled tenderly, moving a stray strand of hair away from your face. "There is no need to apologize for how you feel. You don't have to explain your emotions to me or anyone else.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the weight of the evening slowly lifting as Seungmin's presence settled you. You eventually turned to him, giving him a faint, sincere smile. “Thank you. For everything. I just don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never disappoint me," he continued, his voice firm and confident. "You're everything to me. And I will always stand by your side, no matter what." It wasn't a solution, and it wouldn't solve everything quickly. But it was enough to know that, in Seungmin's eyes, you were enough. And maybe that was all you truly needed to hold onto, at least for now.

The night wasn’t over, but somehow, with him beside you, it already felt a little lighter.

//

masterlist 📩

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

feixiao. M16A1. Need drunk women who love rambling on about their S/O

(H:SR/GFL) Feixiao and M16A1 drunk rambling on about their S/O

Feixiao is very open with her love about S/O.

Very VERY open as a matter of fact. And that volume only increases when she's drinking.

Whatever S/O wants her to do, they have zero say because Feixiao is not home right now.

And unfortunately(??? Idk I think it's probably safe to assume we'll be into it) for them, PDA conduct goes out the window.

Not that there was much there to begin with it, but now Feixiao is now actively peppering S/O with kisses.

(Feixiao) "You're...so pretty! Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

(S/O) "C-CAN'T BREATHE!"

If there was someone in the room with them, she'd essentially drag them over and point at them.

(Feixiao) "S-SEE THIS PERSON?! THIS PERSON IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!"

And who exactly is going to have the balls to tell the General this is the 30th time they've shown S/O to them?

Well, plenty of people actually, but there's the question of whether or not she's sober enough to hear or cares enough.

The answer to both is no.

Absolutely no one is going to pry her off of them if she has an arm around S/O. Moze, Jiaoqiu, The Trailblazer, and more are powerless before the General.

Thankfully in her drunken state, she doesn't get TOO handsy in public. At least nothing that'd require them to get a room.

That would be when S/O gets her home.

The moment Feixiao sees the main focus of her affection snuggle into bed with her, seeing them smile and laugh because of her?

(M16A1) "S/OOOOOO!~"

(S/O) "Oh good god..."

M16A1 has once again drank herself to near system shutdown with Jack Daniels, and is somehow coherent enough to see S/O.

If they don't respond to her, she'll stumble over to them, both arms wrapped around them before she nuzzles her head into their neck.

(M16A1) "Hmmmmm...warm! You humans are really cozy to get close to!"

(S/O) "Sixteen, please lower your volume a li-"

(M16A1) "Mwah!~"

M16A1 plants a firm kiss on their neck making S/O shudder before almost collapsing on top of them, shouting loudly enough for everyone in the bar to hear, much to S/O's horror.

(M16A1) "IF ANYONE TOUCHES MY S/O! I'LL...I'LL...Uh..."

(M4 SOPMOD II's Voice) "KICK THEIR BUTT!"

(M4A1's Voice) "SOPMOD, don't encourage her!-"

(M16A1) "YEAH! KICK YOUR ASS!"

It's up to S/O to carry M16A1 out of the bar and back to their dorm, due to the noise complaints she gets.

Though at this point, the bartender is well aware of M16A1, and that's not even because of S/O. It's just everything else about her in general.

And in the hallways, she's still going on.

(M16A1) "And the way you frown is- hic! ...S-Super hot!"

S/O can only blush in retaliation, as no words will actually reach her.

M4A1 is with S/O and her sister, helping pry M16A1 off them.

(S/O) "Thanks."

(M16A1) "Nooooo!~ Bring them back to me!"

(M4A1) "Hush, you. I thought I told you not to drink so much tonight!"

(S/O) sigh "...M4, can you help me carry her to my room? I'm sorry to ask you-"

(M16A1) "YEAAAAH!-"

M16A1 nearly falls on her face before her sister catches her.

(M4A1) "Hah, I guess I'd be struggling to wrangle her otherwise..."

(M16A1) "Only thing I'm wrangling around is-"

(S/O & M4A1) "SIXTEEN!"

[therandompagesblog]

Hunting Your Soul Chapter 5 🫀Y/N🫀

Trigger Warnings: Stalking, Mentions of death and murder, mention of the word rape, mention of the word torture, mentions of period blood

I seriously needed to get out of the house. I needed to move and stay somewhere else. I can't believe my stalker cut me. Except I don't think he was any type of stalker. He was something that lived in the shadows. He was something that was supposed to be in a prison cell but would never get caught. I believed he was the monster that was supposed to stay in my grandmother's fantasy books. I could be wrong but I felt it in my bones. This creature was a vampire or a monster. A monster that has sharp claws. A werewolf even. If he was a vampire surely my blood would have tormented him and called to him. Surely he would have drained me. I was guessing it was a male. It was this stereotype that women didn't stalk. But what if this one did? I honestly didn't want to think about it too much. My head was hurting. I decided I needed to get out. I needed to go for a walk. Grabbing my coat I walked out of the house and headed down the street. The sun was up. I believed if they were a night monster they wouldn't follow me. They would hide in the shadows where they belonged. I walked along the beach so my trainers wouldn't get covered in the sand as I embraced the sun. I felt the sun warming up my skin and it made me excited. I smirked for a brief moment when my phone rang. "Be careful my love. One day the sun will burn." The voice spoke before hanging up. The voice was hoarse and husky. His words were a giveaway. He was a vampire and he wanted to damn me. He wanted to turn me into one. At least it confirmed he was a male. His voice frightened me and caused me to turn around. There was nowhere where he could be. It was far too open. Unless he was in the black-tinted car. Shit he was. Fuck my life. Do I run? I spun around and walked forward nervously. He couldn't get me if I was out in the open. Out in the sun. I was safe out here, but how long could I stay out here? I walked towards the pier when something buzzed in my pocket. Unknown: I'm not going to hurt you petal. You can enjoy the sun. It was nice to see you happy. I want you to embrace your last days till you're mine. I realised then a vampire was stronger than all forces put together.  Me: How long have I got left? Unknown: So polite to ask. A week. More if I am generous. Me: How long till you kill me? Unknown: A while. I will not kill you straight away. I want you to beg to be killed first. I sucked in a breath and put my phone away. I was not going to allow this monster to ruin my last few days of freedom. One thing I wasn't going to do was beg to be like him. I wouldn't be a monster. It wasn't who I was. I sat on the bench on the pier. Listening to the waves crashing against the rocks. Listening to the wind whisper. The birds fluttering by. Listening to my thoughts wander off.

I was thinking about what the monster would do to me when he kidnapped me. Would he hurt me? Rape me? Torture me? I wanted to know what he wanted from me. Would he tell me if I messaged him? If I messaged him, I would be luring him closer. It was a stupid thing to do. No sane person would ever do that. I guess if I was already damned. I slapped my forehead. I felt like a fool for my thoughts. I shouldn't message him, but I wanted clarification on my death so I could prepare. I wanted to know how I would be treated by my capture. Was that so wrong to know? Surely not. It wasn't like I was being captured by a human. I was being taken by a monster. Something inhuman. Me: What is your name? Can I know that? I waited for him to answer but he didn't so I gave up. He wasn't going to tell me. There was no point pushing the chapter to tell me more information in case I riled them up or added to their obsession. Now that was the wrong thing to do. The right thing to do was go to my Grandmother's house and listen to the creepy readings she was currently reading. That was the right thing to do. Except when I got there Grandmother was out with her friend Avis again. Leaving me alone. Possibly endangered. What could my grandmother do anyway? Wack him with her walking stick. I'm sure he'd win anyway. I picked up the book my grandmother was reading and it was called SKZ Mate by The Random Page. I nonchalantly flicked through and read a couple of pages to pass the time when I ended up engrossed in the book. Maybe grandmother does have good taste in books. Just not men. That was a joke everyone told themselves as Grandfather died from a horse chase on a lad's holiday in Spain. Apparently, he and his friends had annoyed these horses and they ended up chasing Grandfather to his death. It was ironic considering grandfather was always up to no good in his youth. Grandfather was known to pull random stunts with his friend so it wasn't a surprise he died in that way. It was a story to go by. At his funeral, Grandmother was said to have scolded him for having an early grave. It was a shame as I never got to meet him. He sounded hilarious and a stereotypical man. Some say my father was like him until he met my mother. She grounded him some say. It was also said that my father stalked my mother until she agreed to go on a date with him, so I guess mother and daughter alike. Except I had a planned kidnapping. Did it bother me that my stalker wasn't responding? A little bit. I had no idea why I was so bothered by it, but I was. I at least wanted him to communicate with me so I could become familiar with him until I died. Not become dead but dead buried in the ground. I sighed at my thoughts. It was like I was yearning for him already. I was ridiculous and I was blaming it on my hormones since I was due on. I had no idea when I was due but I was. I just prayed he wasn't a vampire and wasn't appealed to it. I hoped he was the vampire that saw it as deceased blood and it didn't bother him. I was praying for it at this point.

Did my prayers come true? Absolutely not. Days later I woke up to change my bin that was filled with tampons and I found them gone. All gone. I could see they were once in the bin as the bin bag was stained red but they were nowhere to be seen. Instead, a note was there. Thank you for your deliciousness. Chan x I learned the monster's name was Chan as he answered my text message a few hours later. Apparently he sleeps during the day. Which made me gather he was a vampire. The traditional stereotypical vampire that sleeps during the day and comes out at night. The one that burned during the day. My stalker continued to text me throughout the days. Asking me how I was as if he was trapping me into kindness. Sometimes I started to fall for it. Each day he was more curious about the things I liked. Each day he dropped me a present. A book on vampires. Some pyjamas. Another day it was flowers. He was softening me up for the day he would take me. Take me away from my family. My Grandmother.

18+ Taglist for those who are not turning back

@catlove83 @itsyourleilei @whatudowhennooneseesyou @leeknot @estella-novella @fackeraccount @eastjonowhere @cocofia143 @jennibahng @noerinspace @sleepingmissingprincess @ye0lkkot @hiitsmebbygrl16 @shhimhereforsmut @jaeminie-cricket @stayceebs97 @ritiiiiiii @chlodavids @beautystarry @hyunjinhoexxx @hash2013 @jeonginontopforever @catnipchannie @kaqua @fairy-lixie @myflowercloud @galaxy4489

[meelusinee]

SAILOR SONG | R.B X READER

word count \ 1.3k | warning below | slash / regulus black x reader

two times regulus his love for you change him. one fluffy, one dangerous (tw: regulus cuts off the dark mark in section two) author's note at the end

A LITTLE LOAF SERIES MASTERLIST

SAILOR SONG | REGULUS BLACK X READER

Regulus had an affinity for the pen and paper.

It was a way to express himself without talking, though still talking in a sense. He could use as many metaphors as he wanted without being called pretentious. Or he could reveal as little as he wanted without being forced to say more.

Usually, everything would be about Death Eater duties. How much he grew to hate the Dark Lord. How crazy his cousin was, and how stupid her husband was to not notice her obvious affair with the Dark Lord.

But recently, it had become more about you.

You seemed to be slowly healing the things in him that he never even realized were broken. For example, you helped him realize just how bad his parents were, even if you didn’t have the full picture. You helped him deal with his ‘evil boss man’, or the fact he had nobody else to rely on other than Kreacher.

When he was younger, he would miss his brother. A bit older, and it would be his friends. He wasn’t sure if either group even cared for him that much.

Now anytime he missed anything, it was you. And this time, he knew you cared.

It radiated off you so easily, it wasn’t something he could ignore. No amount of overthinking or doubting things could ever lead him to that conclusion. It almost made him want to self-sabotage sometimes, feelings of unworthiness mixing with the warmth running through his veins whenever he hung out with you. He figured you were better without him anyways.

Kreacher had hit him for five minutes straight the last time he suggested that.

He sighed, palm rubbing his forehead as he mindlessly scratched it against the paper, words flowing out of him before he could even think of them himself. He’d grown to an automated system for himself, draining his thoughts before he

The sun had set by the time he looked up from the paper again, Kreacher’s voice ringing behind hi

Regulus turned around curiously, looking at Kreacher. “What’s up?”

Kreacher looked at Regulus before his eyebrows furrowed, his feet carrying him over to Regulus’ desk. “May Kreacher ask what Master Regulus is writing?”

Regulus smiled softly. He didn’t trust people, but he trusted Kreacher. He’d already saved his life once, along with helping him take one step closer to taking down the Dark Lord. “Yeah, sure.”

Kreacher grabbed the paper as Regulus handed it to him, his eyes darting over it. “Miss Y/N?”

“You know that.” Regulus whispered quietly.

Kreacher smiled softly, pointing at a specific part of the paper. “I think she would like this.”

Regulus’ eyes darted to the part Kreacher had pointed to, the ink dripping making it a bit harder to read.

‘Won’t you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?

And when you get a taste, can you tell me what's my flavor?

I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior.

My friend says that he’s worried, but I'm covered in this favor.’

His cheeks were a bit flushed by the time he finished, eyes darting over the words he had written.

It sounded so right.

“I believe you can use this, Master Regulus.” Kreacher said with a smile.

“Use it for what?” Regulus asked confusedly.

Kreacher looked at him with an expression that spoke the word ‘really?’ into the room, so much so he could sense the sarcasm radiating off Kreacher. “Kreacher knows more about romance than Master Regulus believes.”

“Oh really?” Regulus challenged him.

“Even if Kreacher did not know anything, Kreacher would still be able to sense how much Master Regulus loves Miss Y/N.” he said. “Perhaps Master Regulus should confess his feelings to Miss Y/N.”

“Would she even say yes?” Regulus asked confusedly. “I’ve only known her for, like, a week.”

Kreacher nodded at that, placing the paper down on the desk. “Kreacher believes writing about Miss Y/N until your hands grow tired will not help Master Regulus’ crush.”

“I know that.” Regulus groaned, banging his head against the table. “Kreacher, why is this so difficult?”

“Perhaps it is because Master Regulus has never felt loved before.” Kreacher said, looking down at him with an innocent expression.

Regulus sat up at that, his mouth dropped. “Kreacher!”

Kreacher only smiled, hopping off the desk. “Kreacher shall be in the kitchen, should Master Regulus need it.”

“You are so cruel.” Regulus groaned, looking down at the words he had written. How would he even confess with them in the first place? A letter in an envelope, maybe. With some flowers, he knew your favorite. But would you accept them?

Did you even like him back?

Regulus groaned again, putting his ink and quill back in their spots. He stood up abruptly, feet dragging him towards the bed he had been calling home recently.

Regulus realized that he was running out of time.

He stood in front of a mirror, shirtless with his arm on full display. The Dark Mark was still there, loud and proud as it burnt his arm. He refused to touch it, not wanting to give the Dark Lord any power or access to him. As far as the Dark Lord knew, he was dead.

He didn’t have much of a choice when it came to touching it anymore though.

“Kreacher!” he called.

Kreacher came as he called, looking at Regulus with a slightly bewildered expression. Regulus figured it was because of his voice, he had never called so demandingly before. He sounded like Sirius.

He hated sounding like Sirius.

“Is something wrong, Master Regulus?” he asked.

Regulus sighed, looking down at Kreacher. “I need you to help me with something.”

“Anything, Master Regulus!” he said hurriedly, noting the urgency in Regulus’ voice. “What is it?”

“I’m going to drag the magic from this to the center,” Regulus said as he pulled out a knife, unfolding it from its sheath and handing it to Kreacher. “I need you to cut the Dark Mark off.”

“Cut it off?” Kreacher asked incredulously.

Regulus nodded. “It’s the only way, I have bandaids somewhere here. I need your help, Kreacher. Please.”

Kreacher looked at him before sighing. “Knife.”

Regulus smiled faintly, handing Kreacher the knife and sitting down on a small cushion. He felt a small layer of sweat already building, though he wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline, anxiety, or anticipation. Maybe it was all three, the three big A’s he needed to feel all at once in order to feel alive.

“Whenever you’re ready, Master Regulus.”

Regulus sighed softly, breathing in air before letting it out. He held the tip of his wand to the Dark Mark, a small white light appearing at the tip. His skin started burning like the night he got it, all of the magic coming front and center to his epidermis**.** Some of it floated up in the air around it, hovering like a beast waiting.

“Now,” he said.

Kreacher made quick work of the Dark Mark, quickly cutting into his flesh and filleting his arm like one would a fish. It was sharp and quick, the dark magic trapped inside of the cut off skin.

“Fuck,” Regulus gritted through his teeth. He grabbed a small trash bag he had enchanted to keep the magic trapped, placing the long strip of cut skin inside of it. That way, at the very least, it wouldn’t be able to escape.

Now all he had to worry about was the blood.

“Master Regulus is rather impulsive.” Kreacher stated, healing Regulus’ arm. He couldn’t do much, which meant that the wound was still bleeding. Even still, it was much better than what it was before. He grabbed the bandaids and wrapped them as tight as he could around Regulus’ wrist.

“Thank you, Kreacher.” Regulus whispered.

“You’re welcome.” Kreacher said, looking up at Regulus. “Would you like some tea?”

Regulus was still panting from the pain, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Please.”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

this part might not make the most sense in the entirety of the series, mainly because i wrote this before i wrote the other two parts that i posted today. i think it still matches overall though? so imma post it anyways bc i CAN

AS ALWAYS - please like, comment, and reblog!

[dood-itsradical]

Have I ever tell y'all that jake kim is my fav? Yes? Well you'll be hearing it from me again ehehehehe + f!reader is sinu's sister.

Don't you just love it? Saturday, no work. Weather is nice. Not too hot, not too cold. Waking up on a soft bed, soft pillows. With Jake naked with you.

...

With Jake naked with you?!

Sitting up abruptly, gripping on your blanket once you realise how bare you. You face Jake. Jake only started to get fully conscious. Taking his precious time to lick his dry lips, rubbing his eyes and blinking at you. It took him like a good ten seconds to realise.

He was first to scream. You then scream with him. He points at you. You point back. You pull the blanket close to you. He cover his tattooed body with his bare hands. The screaming continues.

Jerry burst in the room immediately. The door broke in half, JAKE! WHAT'S GOING ON?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" The big guy turned speechless at the sight.

To Jerry, it was an honest mistake. To you, it is too. But to Jake, it's like he have commited a big ass sin.

"SINU, PUNISH ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! I DONT DESERVE TO LIVE!" Jake hit his head on the solid ground multiple times. He forced his knees to hurt. You also kneeled beside him, somewhat guilty and embarrassed of what happened. You're on a same page, thinking it felt wrong to sleep with the current Big Deal's boss. Who is also your brother's best friend.

Sinu Han stand there with a sheepish look, "Jake, you're exaggerating. I already respect both of your relationship." But Jake wouldn't budge, believing that he deserve anything that comes his way to make up from his mistake.

"But I never ask for her consent! I didn't even remember what I did. There are bruises everywhere on her body! What kind of monster am I? I should be punished immediately!" His firm voice muffled from below, he could've sworn he swallowed a rock.

Your felt your face heating up. Curse Jake for having no filter when speaking to Sinu. But he's right about something. You don't even remember what happened. You felt slightly sore and noticed few marks during shower.

Sinu sighed with slight amusement. He doesn't even opposed to the idea of Jake and you dating. He encouraged it even. You two always have been close so it's only fair to tied that knot. Literally.

Then he snort before burst into laughter. It catches everyone else off guard and confused. Especially you. What is it that he found it funny?

The laughter slowly died down as Sinu wipe his tears. "Oh, I'm not angry. You guys are like two peas in a pot. About time anyway." He crouched down and rest a hand on Jake's shoulder. "If you felt that way towards her, it's me who should be lucky. You're already a brother. I wouldn't have anyone else to look after her."

Your heart fluttered at your brother's words. Sure he's a sentiment by heart, but you didn't get to hear that all day. You could only give a grateful smile.

However his words seem to be left hanging by Jake. Confuse, Sinu shakes him slightly. "Jake?"

Slowly, Jake raised his head comically to reveal his sobbing mess self, shocking both you and Sinu. Tears and snot running down on Jake's face as he sniffles violently. "Th-ank you..." He hiccups. "I'll take good care- of her, Sinu. I swear on it."

Sinu's lips curled with satisfaction alongside you. You chuckled warmly at the sight.

Masterlist

[staycalmandhugaclone]

Fool's Errand Pt 11

Part (11) of Fool's Errand, the next arc of Doc's Misadventures! If you're new, start at the beginning with Touch Starved!

It is 1am. I stayed up waaayyy to late to finish this, but if I didn't get it out now, it would have to wait until Monday, and I really didn't want you make ya'll wait.

This one's a little rough, loves; so grab an emotional support cock(tail).

Btw - little aside! For anyone who no long wants to be tagged, feel free to shoot me a dm or you can submit another taglist just saying to be untagged. For those that want to be tagged, please remember to give me your tumblr name. I've received a few email addresses and several names that don't seemed to link up to anyone. Sorry, but there's not much I can do with that ❤️

Warnings: heavy into medical procedures; a lot of grief, guilt, thoughts of self-doubt; near-death experience; blood; gore; needles; cpr; body horror; eye injuries; profanity. I think that's is, but, As always, please let me know if I've missed tagging something!

WC: 3,867

I used to love forests. Agamar boasted a rich abundance of biomes, but the farmlands where I was raised were far from anything so wild; thus, the thought of finding myself lost in unending stretches of trees so tall and numerous as to grant an artificial night to those trapped within their shadow was mesmerizing in a way that forgave any thought toward what danger those shadows might conceal. I knew better now.

I’d lost Emmy while flying over a forest; the scent of campfire smoke dancing just beneath that suffocating tang of fuel. I’d nearly lost Tech to the dangerous fungus thriving in the rokna trees of Endor. And then my brother… No. Forests no longer held that tantalizing mystique. They were beautiful. And they were deadly. And, as I stood between two of the countless, towering trees mere meters from the still forms atop the ramp of the Marauder, I realized how much I’d come to hate them.

My entire body was shaking with adrenaline and fear and rage, wide eyes darting from the dark armor to the crying girl, pistol still clenched in her trembling hands.

“Sweetie… I need you to put down the gun. Okay?” I murmured, the thin vail of calm forcing my words into something far removed from the desperation simmering beneath them. Her gaze darted to the weapon held before her as though just as terrified to find herself still holding it as she was at the thought of letting it go.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Just… just set it down.” I pressed, some ancient, feral instinct forbidding me from shouting at her hesitation. One hand slowly pulled away from the grip, but it was the other one that still had a finger pressed far too snugly against the trigger, and I wondered if she’d ever held a gun before.

“That’s good… You’re doing great… Look at me, honey.” I whispered, surprised at how quickly her attention snapped back to me. “It’s okay. Just put it down.” Her fingers began to loosen. The instant the weapon that looked far too large in her hands began to fall, I darted forward. I wanted to scream at her; to berate her for what damage she might have caused, for the delay her fear had forced between my men and the care they desperately needed, but I didn’t. I raced forward and instantly locked her to my chest, quiet shhh’s leaving on barely controlled breaths as I carried her rapidly into the ship, stopping only when the outside world was hidden by those worn, metal walls and quickly settled her atop Hunter’s bunk.

“Alright, baby; I want you to stay right here for me, okay?” It wasn’t quite an order, but it was far from a request, hands shaking as I swept the hair from her face to ensure she was looking at me. Snot covered her upper lip as tears flooded her cheeks, her entire body convulsing with sobs, but the small nod she managed in response was enough for me to quickly press my lips to her forehead before turning on my heel and sprinting back outside.

It was Hunter’s pistol. I kicked the damn thing inside if only to get it out of my way before dropping to my knees beside them, searching for signs of blasterfire or crushed plastoid or breath, and finding neither.

No. That wasn’t right. Crosshair’s torso was still shifting beneath short, jilted gasps. But Hunter…

“Hunter? Hunter, can you hear me?!” I didn’t wait for a reply I knew wasn’t coming as I struggled to untangle them, belatedly realizing he’d collapsed while carrying his brother up the ramp.

“Cross? Hey-hey, you with me?” I asked, begged as I eased him onto his back, but his body merely flinched with shallow breaths, faint grunts far too akin to whimpers catching on trembling lips. But he was breathing. He was hurt, but he was alive. My heart jolted as I quickly threw myself at Hunter, fingers slipping beneath the sharp notch of his jaw as my other hand quickly yanked at his helmet.

Numb. There’s a quiet that comes in moments like this, born of hard-learned necessity as even a taste of the emotions hiding just beyond the distant storm would bring with them doubt. Hesitation. And when even a second of such hesitation could be the difference between life and death, if takes very few mistakes to learn how to hide oneself in that quiet, to let hands move and thoughts rage with a careful detachment.

My body no longer shook as I wrestled the heavy chest plate from his limp form. I didn’t look at the deathly pale skin that gleamed beside the faded half-skull tattoo, nor at half-lidded eyes that were so violently wrong without laugh lines dancing at the corners or that brooding intensity as his mind raced to find solutions to impossible problems. In that moment, he was a number. He was a list of vitals and pre-existing conditions and a rapidly evolving treatment plan. He was patient 1, triaged and assisted and listed by priority, and if I held to that as I should have, I would have let him die, but I watched with a pointed lack of emotion as I finally freed him of that damned armor, his body falling back to the ramp with a thud I couldn’t bring myself to worry over in the wake of how wrong that stillness was.

It was a thoughtless action, the way my fingers twined together as my hands stacked atop each other above his chest. I needed to move them – both of them – out of the risk of enemy fire. Hell, I needed to move for that same reason; needed to get Hunter on level ground to maximize the efficiency of my compressions; needed to check for lung capacity and inevitably insert another chest tube; needed to see just how bad the chemical burns still eating into Crosshair’s eyes were and try to figure out some way to help him. I could still hear the girl crying and wasn’t surprised to see her standing at the very corner of the hallway, peaking out just enough to watch us, and I’d never felt so impossibly, irrevocably alone.

Curses spitting from my lips, I abandoned the half-completed count of compressions and threw myself to my feet. Couldn’t get deep enough… The tantalizing wealth of muscle I’d so shamelessly admired every time he’d see himself into my bed beneath the guise a massage that we both knew had nothing to do with pulled muscles or stiff joints, that breathtaking display of power that saw him so effortlessly through the endless missions and struggles of this war left his chest too stiff to readily yield beneath the too weak thrusts of my palms.

If I could get him inside – get him on a flat surface, then I could push harder, I could force his damn heart to beat and chase all threat of that encroaching chill from skin I so clearly remembered feeling like fire against mine.

“Honey, there’s a button on that interface, there. Can you press it – close the ramp?” I asked breathlessly as I began dragging Crosshair inside as well. A slightly louder groan caught in his throat making my heart drop. I barely noticed the girl dart forward, tiny hand nearly slamming onto the controls as movement returned to those long limbs.

“Shh, Cross, I’m right here, okay? I’m going to take care of you, but I have to help Hunter first.” If he heard me, if he heard the crippling apology that threatened to rend my breath into hiccuped gasps and rob me of that blessed detachment, he was too lost in a growing agony to offer any form of a response. My hand shifted beneath the desperate need to reach for him, to somehow ensure he knew I was there, but that would waste precious seconds I didn’t have, and I quickly spun back to Hunter, jaw tensing anew at the utter absence of life before me.

Airway. Breathing. Circulation. It was rote. Mindless. But something in me still died at how cold his lips felt against mine. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. And I nearly broke at how much effort it took to push even a whisper of breath into his lungs. Crosshair was starting to move, clawed hands reaching toward the black visor I only just realized was shattered, deep crackers spider-webbed across the dark crescent. If I looked, I could just make out slivers of skin between some of the larger cracks, but I couldn’t see enough to even guess toward the damage hidden within as I wrenched the medpack from my shoulders.

Hunter’s body rocked listlessly beneath the force it took to shove the chest tube between his lower ribs, expression void of the pain I’d never been so eager to see on his handsome face. What poured from the fresh wound was dark and thick and filled the small room with the heavy scent of copper and sick, and I refused to even look at it as I dragged the sheers down the front of his shirt, half ripping the fabric away in my haste.

I didn’t hesitate before arching my body over him and slamming my elbow into his chest, ignoring how the sound of ribs cracking beneath the strike was enough to make even Cross flinch, ruined helm shifting uselessly toward me for just a moment before that pain overruled his attention once more. My knee pads scrapped loudly against the metal grate as I pushed myself up enough to straddle Hunter’s waist, cupped hands returning to their position over his sternum.

“Crosshair… Cross, if you can hear me, you need to try to get that helmet off.” I panted, voice undulating with the rhythm of my entire body beating quickly against his brother’s chest. His head shifted again, the movement jerky and only barely noticeable, and I couldn’t imagine how the wet crunch, crunch, crunch that so perfectly marked the passage of time must have sounded in the dark, eyes surely blinded by whatever cruel thing had been used to cripple him.

“I know; I know, baby – I’ll help you as quickly as I can, but I need you to help, too.” I pressed on huffed, rapid breaths, relieved when his shaking fingers began groping at the rounded ridge following his jawline, but I couldn’t ignore how quickly that trembling was getting worse, the sound of air hissing through clenched teeth breaking between barely restrained groans that so wanted to be screams, and I realized that Hunter must have given him something stronger – something that managed to knock him out before I reached them, and it was rapidly fading.

But I couldn’t do anything for him. Not yet. Not until I finally managed to force some bit of life back into the man below me. Kriff, was I just wasting time? The longer I worked on Hunter, the more potential damage Crosshair suffered… I could only guess toward how much time had passed since his heart… how long he’d been down before I reached them… and the longer he’d been like this the greater the risk of…

No. No, no; I couldn’t think like that. Scowling at the way my hand was just beginning to shake again, I reached out to check for a pulse, straining to mediate my own breaths enough for me to actually feel for his heartbeat over the frantic racing of my own. Nothing… I quickly leaned down to push two more breaths into his lungs, wincing at the way his nose cracked slightly between my fingers as I pinched his nostrils shut.

“He’s… i-is he…” I could barely make out words through how shaky his breath was, and I instantly found myself wishing I hadn’t heard him at all.

“I’m doing everything I can for him, Crosshair; just focus on getting that helmet off, and I’ll try to get you more meds soon.” There was that careful detachment again, automatic response unhindered by the grief and panic I tried so hard to ignore.

“To-… told ‘im t… l-l’ve m…” I couldn’t think about the sob that robbed the strength from his voice, nor the hiccuped gasp that followed as his hands clawed over his ruined visor, my teeth grinding into the inside of my cheek to keep my own breath from breaking.

Still no pulse. The precious few seconds it took to dig into my bag once more made my skin crawl, some wretched whisper in the back of my head telling me everything that could go wrong, everything that I’d done wrong; that I wasn’t fast enough, strong enough; that I was killing him – that I was killing both of them.

Guilt made my stomach churn as a small drop of crimson marked where I’d nicked him with the razor as I rushed to clear enough hair for the electrodes. It was stupid. Such a tiny wound… and yet my eyes kept trying to return to it, as though I hadn’t just shoved a tube through his side, as though I hadn’t just broken several ribs to allow adequate compressions, as though the man beneath me wasn’t, by all medical standards, already dead.

The small device let out a warning trill, and I quickly jumped clear of him, waiting anxiously for the timer to finish. Hunter’s body seized beneath the violent surge of electricity, torso snapping up, spine locking in a tight arch. And then he crashed back to the metal grating, rocking listlessly from the momentum.

I didn’t wait for the AED to finish reassessing, fingers reaching for his throat the instant his back hit the floor. Whatever momentary lucidity had granted Crosshair the clarity of mind to mumble those heartbreaking words was gone, crushed beneath an agony no longer muted by whatever drugs Hunter had given him. His legs dragged uselessly against the metal beneath him, deep, keening groans occasionally breaking into a barked scream as he writhed in pain. And, still, there was no sign of life beneath my fingertips.

One more… I’d grant myself only one more moment of denial, one final attempt to bring him back…

“Dammit; come on, Hunter!” I didn’t mean to let the words escape me as I pounded against his chest. “Don’t you do this – don’t you kriffing dare do this!” I remembered the first time I’d performed CPR on a real person. “We need you, dammit! Come on!” The patient had already been pronounced. “Come back! Please, please, come back!” But residents were encouraged to “practice.” Knowing they were already dead, however, did nothing to relieve me of the sharp rush of adrenaline, the desperate urgency to somehow do better – be better… to save them… That knowledge did nothing to rid me of the consuming guilt of failure when I finally walked away.

I couldn’t silence the sob as I pressed my lips against his one last time, pushing the air from my own lungs into him with every unspoken plea and promise and curse forever forced into a silence I feared I’d regret until my heart stopped as well.

Something beeped. Doubt robbed me of recognition. Fear forbade me from even looking. Barely ten percent of patients come back from something like this. Some horrible, broken part of me had accepted his death the instant I’d realized he had no pulse, but denial had granted me the strength to try anyway. Now, that denial refused to let my eyes fall back to the small device connected to his chest, but Crosshair was screaming, and the Senator’s daughter was crying, and there was too much at stake for even a moment to be lost for something so useless.

Still, I couldn’t understand the dancing line steadily making its way across the monitor. I’d seen it countless times before, but…

My chest bucked in a sharp gasp, body finally remembering how to move. In an instant, I was at Crosshair’s side, hands grabbing at his in an enraging struggle to finally rip that damned helmet off.

“Crosshair! Cross, baby, I’m going to help fix it, but you – ugh! – you have to… stop… fighting me!” I grunted, finally trapping one of his hands beneath my arm long enough to grab the ruined bucket. His scream turned desperate the instant the light reached him, and my stomach dropped. The skin around his eyes was scalded, red and oozing, and how could I possibly give him any words of reassurance that might offer even a breath of comfort in the face of those wounds?

I offered no warning before jabbing a hypo against his neck. He didn’t notice it anyway, lips wrenched clear of teeth gnashing around hitched gasps and feral cries he couldn’t begin to restrain.

“I’ve got you, Cross.” I murmured as those frenzied movements began to fail, one arm wrapping around his back to help guide him carefully to the floor while the other snatched for my med scanner with some futile hope that it might be able to identify whatever toxin was searing into his flesh. “That’s it, love; just breathe for me; okay?” I wasn’t sure if the drugs helped, or if they merely left him too weak to thrash anymore, and I wanted to shout apologies until my lungs gave out, but I didn’t turn away from the small scanner, eyes quickly studying every word that scrolled across the screen before dropping it to snatch my comm.

“Tech! Wrecker! Do you copy?!” I shouted, already pushing myself to my feet and sprinting toward the medbay.

“Yeah,” Wrecker answered barely a second later. “They okay?”

“I’m working on that,” I nearly cringed at the exhaustion in my voice, but quickly moved on. “I need something to neutralize an acid. Are you in a position where you can look this over?”

“Do you have an approximate idea of what the substance is?” Tech asked, words breathless in a way that made my guilt spike. I shouldn’t have to ask them… I should be able to figure this out myself… but the chemical equation dancing across the scanner was far too complex for me to work through in time.

“I’m sending it now.” I replied, fingers already flying over the scanner to share the readout.

“Oh.” I wasn’t surprised to hear the dread in Wrecker’s voice, but if he recognized the chemicals, then there was hope that he knew how to safely wash it away. “Yeah… think I can tell yuh what yuh need.”

Tech didn’t interrupt him. This wasn’t hardware or trivia or anatomy. This was chemistry. And, while I wouldn’t have second-guessed a word the pilot may have said, Wrecker’s knowledge was a matter of passion. The same interplay of atomic bonds and volatile reactions manipulated to detonate a building could be used to form acids powerful enough to melt through entire ships, and I trusted his word without a moment’s doubt. Still, the time it took to prepare the solution was torture, and I couldn’t run back through the ship fast enough to begin to ease that crippling guilt.

He was barely moving when I got back, shivering body curled onto his side, one hand clutching at his eyes while the other was locked around Hunter’s arm, and I felt the tears threaten to suffocate me as I realized he was too disorientated to recognize the steady rhythm still singing from the small monitor, to understand that his brother was alive.

“Crosshair; hey-hey-hey, listen to me.” I murmured quickly, satchel of equipment dropping carefully to the floor as I rushed to his side. “He’s alright. Hunter’s alright, but I need to take care of you now.” If he heard me, he didn’t respond, and I didn’t waste additional time trying to explain.

My heart was racing, anticipation searing through my nerves like lightning. He wasn’t going to like this. Kriff, he wasn’t going to like this…

He barely flinched when I gently laid my hand on his forehead, but the instant the first drop of liquid touched his cheek, whatever illusion of weakness the meds granted was gone. His limbs lashed out in a frenzy of panicked rage, kicking himself away while his arms swiped toward me in a vicious attempt to push me back. Cursing, I spun out of his reach just long enough to regain my footing.

Any other day, I’d have no hope in holding him down, but the body can only withstand the degree of agony he’d been subjected to for so long before even his muscles began to fail, so when I pinned his arms at his sides, my own legs quickly wrapping around him in a powerful hold, I had just enough time to empty that first syringe entirely, flooding his face with the neutralizing fluid.

I knew it would burn at first, and my face twisted into a sympathetic scowl at the fresh cries of a hurt I couldn’t imagine ripping through his already raw throat, but by the time I was halfway through the second, his thrashing began to ease, jaw hanging open around sputtering coughs as he spat out what trace amounts of fluid accidentally slipped past his lips.

“Good.” I murmured, hand once more settled atop his brow in an effort to carefully keep him still. “I know; I know it hurts, but this is helping, right? It’s getting better?” I expected no response, and he offered none, but he didn’t need to. I could feel the tension slowly fading despite the occasional twitch and choked grunt.

“Honey, I need to help you open your eyes, now. I need to make sure we rinse all that gunk out.” I warned, and my heart ached at how quickly that tension returned. “I know, but we’ll go slow, okay?” Voice quiet, gentle in a way I could only hope he might understand, I whispered to him, thumb already moving to pull at his upper lid as my thighs tightened at the way his arms wrenched against me. His head thrashed, desperate to escape my touch, but I followed him with ease, relentless until a dozen empty syringes lay strewn about the cabin, tossed aimlessly that I might hurry on to the next.

“Almost done.” I breathed, but he’d already begun to fade, body only occasionally managing a weak flinch as I pushed the last of the solution over his other eye. That redness was still there, and only time would tell how well his eyes would heal… but the danger was over. I quickly coated the abused flesh in a generous layer of bacta before securing thick pads over his eyes with bandages.

They were alive. I could still see the steady rhythm of Hunter’s heartbeat scrawling atop the monitor beside him, and the cruel acid used to incapacitate Crosshair was neutralized. They were okay… Even the little girl had stopped crying, wide eyes watching me with an emotion I was far too exhausted to try to name as I staggered to my feet. Couldn’t leave them here… I’d get them to the medbay… get them settled… then I’d let myself breathe…

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[remembering-angels]

Let me take care of you tommy 🔞 smut .

Gentle sub tommy fic because @chillian-murphy made me think about this the entire morning.

Content: gentle sub - dom dynamic, tommy is a switch, really just fluff and smut, kinda pet play. (Also I originally wrote it as an X reader fanfic but then switched everything to me because I got annoyed at trying to figure it out, so if you see "you" instead of "me" at some places that's why)

Plot - tommy returns home stressed and upset, Im determined to help him feel better. (But let's be honest, there isn't much plot)

A relationship with tommy shelby was never easy. Often times he would return home stressed ,ignore me and lock himself in his office for hours, when he doesn't ignore me, he is not gentle, rough and dominating, takes what he needs in a fit of stress and trauma. But some nights, those nights where he was gentle and loving are the nights that made me stay with the ruthless gangster. Not that I can ever leave him, nobody leaves tommy shelby. As the days go by, i settle into my new life in Thomas Shelby's house. Im his woman, and everyone knows it. Im treated with respect and deference by his men, and i have free rein over the house. But Thomas is often out late, handling business.

I walk between the rooms of his lavish mension. another night of tommy being away on gangster business. of course, the word gangster is only said in hushed whispers. Tommy liked it when I was ready for him, clean in a nice, easily taken off dress, ready for him at all times. I decided to enter his home office and turn on the fireplace. by the time he returned, he seemed upset. "What's wrong, thomas? I ask gently ,as a woman welcoming her man from a long day of work does.

He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair as he looks at me , his eyes tired and troubled. "Everything's fucked, love. The Italians are making moves on our territory, and I've got a deal with the Americans that's starting to unravel and fuck " he takes out a cigarette and rubs it between his lips.I bite my lip trying to understand what he is talking about ,i often didnt understand his buisness dealings but i tried to be supportive, he wouldn't let me get to close. "poor thomas..come here" I outreach my arms to him, my silk robe falling off my shoulders as I welcome him in to my embrace.

He walks over to me, his shoulders slumped in exhaustion, but his eyes darkening with desire as he takes in my nearly bare form. He pulls me against him, burying his face in my neck and inhaling deeply. "You always know just what I need, don't you?", "isn't this why you keep me here,in this lovely golden cage" I wrap my arms around his gently. He chuckles lowly, his breath tickling your skin as he places a trail of kisses along my collarbone. "It is indeed. You're my perfect sanctuary amidst all this chaos, my lovely little bird in a gilded cage." I sigh ,realising tommy didn't and probably will never notice how in his endless pursuit of money and power and control he keeps everyone around his trapped and dragged down to hell along with him, I softly kiss his soft head of brown hair.

He melts into my touch, his arms wrapping tightly around me as he holds me close. For a moment, he just stands there, lost in my embrace, his problems momentarily forgotten. Then, he pulls back and looks at me with a fierce intensity. "I need you, love.""I'm yours" I slowly pull my robe down ,staying only in my nightgown.Thomas' eyes rake over my barely concealed form, a primal hunger igniting in his gaze. He quickly shrugs off his coat and loosens his tie, his movements urgent and impatient. Grabbing me by the waist, he pulls you flush against him, his hardness evident through his trousers. I gasp as he pulls me closer, the fire in his eyes intense. he always wanted everything ,power , and control, and this was no different. I was another thing for him to possess tonight.

He lifts me effortlessly, wrapping my legs around his waist as he walks them backwards until my back hits the cold wall. His large hands roam possessively over my thighs and hips as he holds me there, his eyes locked onto mine, daring me to look away. "Mine,", I gasp and moan as his large hands explore my body, "t..tommy wait wait" i say between moans, he lifts his head in confusion , his lips hovering just above my skin as a flicker of curiosity crosses his face. His grip loosens slightly, but his body remains pressed firmly against mine pinning me to the wall. "What is it, love? Speak quickly, before I lose myself completely in you"

"c...can..I.. " I blush "can I be in charge tonight? you seem tired I want to.." the quick hand on my throat stopped me from even entertaining that idea further.His eyes narrow, the fire in them intensifying at my suggestion. His hand on my throat tightens slightly, not enough to cut off my air, but enough to remind me of the power dynamic between us two. "In charge?" He repeats, his voice low and dangerous. I nod "j..just for tonight because you seem so tired...I want to take care of you for once..please let me take care of you tommy" I say gently my voice laced with worry. He stares at me for a moment, considering my words. He can feel the exhaustion pulling at him, making him want to give in to my request just to conserve his energy. But the thought of relinquishing control, even for a night, sits uneasily with him. "Tommy-"

He silences me with a finger pressed against my lips. His gaze is intense, searching, as if trying to read my thoughts and intentions. Slowly, he nods, a small, rare smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Alright, love. You can have your way tonight."

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I smile excitedly to try something new, but knowing it won't last long,his need for power and control will overtake him eventually ,my heart beats at my chest faster at what the night will bring. Thomas steps back reluctantly, easing his grip on me as he allows me the illusion of control. His eyes gleam with a dangerous amusement, anticipating the moment he'll reclaim dominance. He leans against the wall opposite me , arms crossed, watching my every move with hungry intensity.

I take his hand gently in mine as I lead him to the couch, looking back to see him following ,once we reach the couch, I turn to him "undress for me tommy" I say gently. He pauses, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners as he suppresses a smirk at taking orders. Slowly, he begins to unbutton his shirt, revealing his chiseled chest, marred by scars and tattoos. He tosses the shirt aside and starts on his belt.His pants hit the floor, leaving him in just his boxers. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband, pausing to look at me,waiting for further instruction. He sees the small smile tugging at my lips and it makes him want to snap back into his dominant role but he stops himself, curious to see where this would go. "Everything tommy " I say in gentle command.His eyes flash with a mixture of surprise and annoyance, but he complies. He slowly lowers his boxers, stepping out of them. He stands before me, completely bare, his powerful body on full display. His jaw is clenched, his patience wearing thin under my gentle command.

"lay down on your back, arms up! don't cheat". He inhales deeply, steeling himself against the urge to grab me and reverse the situation. He lies down on his back, stretching his arms above his head, palms facing up. He looks up at me with a challenging glint in his eyes, daring me to maintain this control. I smile more as he follows my commands,I never been dominat one in my life, this was new to me,I secretly hoped tommy would tell me what to do next. I climb on his lap. As i climb onto his lap, he has to clench his fists above his head to prevent himself from wrapping his arms around me and flipping me underneath him, to take back the rough control. He looks up at me, his chest heaving slightly, waiting for my next command, his body tense with barely contained dominance.

"Remember the rules tommy, no touching " .He nods curtly, his hands remaining still above his head. He watches me intently, his gaze burning with the need to assert his control. He bites his lip to keep from speaking, from giving me an order and reclaiming his dominance. He's never felt so frustrated and turned on in his life.I gently trace my hand ,from his hands to his ribs to his stomach ,to his pelvis, tracing the contours of his muscles. As my hand traces a path down his body, he tenses, his muscles flexing under my touch. He lets out a low growl, his eyes flashing with annoyance and desire. He's never been in a position where he couldn't touch, where he had to simply lie there and take it. I then start planting kisses on his chest, down to his pelvis and then his cock, gentle loving kisses of desire.He inhales sharply as my lips reach his pelvis, his hips bucking upward slightly, but he remembers the rules. He can't touch, he can't grab my hair and pull me closer. He has to lie there and take it like a good boy. I start to kiss his cock gently, looking up at his pained expression, I pout slightly "tommy relax.."His pained expression softens slightly at your pout, and he lets out a shaky breath. He tries to relax, to trust me to know what I'm doing. But it's hard, so fucking hard, when all he wants to do is grab my head and thrust his cock into my mouth."let me take care of you tonight" I softly start to kiss down his cock,lick the base and up to his head ,in circles.

He sucks in a sharp breath as my lips and tongue explore his cock. He watches me through half-lidded eyes, his body trembling with the effort of holding still. He's never felt so vulnerable, so at someone's mercy. It's a strange feeling, but fuck, does it make him hard.a soft moan escapes Tommy's lips as I smile victorioisly and get his cock inside my mouth,I start to suck gently and eagerly.His eyes widen and his head falls back as i take him into my mouth. A low, guttural moan escapes him, and his hands clench into fists above his head. He can't touch, can't guide my head or thrust into my mouth like he wants to, like he usually does.He's never felt so much before. He can feel every ridge and vein of his length being sucked, licked, worshipped. He's never had someone take their time like this, savoring him. He's always been rough, fast, taking what he wanted.

the soft begging moans leaving Tommy's lips tell me everything I needed to know, how much he secretly wanted this, to be taken care of,I lips my mouth from his cock as I look at him, He looks down at me, his chest heaving, his eyes dark with desire. He's never felt so exposed, so laid bare. He's always been the one in control, the one taking what he wants. But right now, he's at my mercy, and he fucking loves it. "Tommy you are being such a good boy " I praise him gently. His eyes flash with a mix of pride and embarrassment at the praise. He's not used to being called 'good' let alone 'good boy'. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as he realizes he's actually enjoying submitting to me.I lean closer to his ear, stroking his cock gently as I lay across his chest "such a good boy, well done tommy you are doing well, I think you deserve a reward ".

A roguish grin spreads across his face as he looks down at me laying across his chest, my hand stroking his rigid cock. The praise and promise of a'reward' send a thrill through him. He's not accustomed to rewards, certainly not the kind he imagines are coming."now ask me nicely tommy" I say seductively. His jaw clenches slightly, pride warring with desire. But fuck, he wants this. Badly. So he swallows his pride and speaks in a husky, needy tone he barely recognizes as his own. "Please... may I have my reward?". I nod in praise as I gently trace a hand from his cheek, helping him get his hair out of his face from his forhead. "What reward would you like, tommy?" ,He lets out a shaky breath as I trace my fingers through his hair, his heart pounding in his chest. He's never felt so vulnerable, so dependent on someone else for his happiness. But fuck, he loves it. "I want... I want you to kiss me,"

I kiss his lips, passionately, Tommy's inner dominating nature battles his desire to he loved and taken care of, our tounges dance together battling for dominance as I moan around his lips and he moans back,He kisses you back fiercely, his dominant nature struggling to break through the walls he's built around his heart. He wants to claim me, mark me as his. But as he kisses me, he feels something he's never felt before - a desire to be claimed himself, to be loved and cherished. I pull away from his lips ,a smirk tagging at my lips, I almost felt as if I was taming a wild horse. "Good boy". A throaty chuckle escapes him, tinged with disbelief and amusement. The feeling of being 'tamed' is utterly foreign, yet disturbingly arousing. His pride smarted at the phrase initially, but something about the way i say it sends electric pulses straight to his core.

I quickly sit up straight on his lap, teasing the head of his cock with my entrance but not sitting on it just yet.His eyes darken with intense desire as he feels with me hovering there. He's usually the one making others wait, drawing things out for his own pleasure. Now, he's on the receiving end of that particular game - and fuck, it's driving him wild. "Are you trying to torture me, love?" ,"just trying to train my favourite horse" i say in his ear seductively .His breath catches at my sultry words, his hands gripping my hips as he tries - and fails - to hold back a moan. The image of being my 'favourite horse' makes something primal stir within him, part proud stallion, part willing mare. "Fuck...". "if you keep moving your hands I'll tie them and bring the crop ,bad horse" I scold and gently tap away his hands from my waist.

A shudder runs through him at my teasing threat, equal parts terrifying and titillating. He remembers the crop i mentioned before, and the thought of being restrained, at my mercy, sends a jolt of dark arousal through him. He forces his hands still, submitting to my command."there there good tommy" I shush him like how one would a wild horse.He bites back a snarl at the condescending tone, his pride bristling. But then i pat his head, and to his shock, he finds himself leaning into my touch like a tamed beast. The contrast of dominance and affection is intoxicating, breaking down his defenses. I gently now stand off the sofa as I go to the drawer and pull out the silk ropes and riding crop, of course those were things tommy used on me before plenty of times so they were pink ..for me. but now I gently bring the silk ropes to his hands,He looks at the pink silk ropes in your hands, his eyebrows raising in surprise. These ropes were once meant for my restraint, but now the roles are reversed. A smirk tugs at his lips as he realizes the irony, intrigued by the sight of these instruments of dominance now being used to bind him. I gently bind his wrists to the sofa ,above his head ,not strong enough to hurt him. This was his night after all, everything for tommy, I kiss his hands gently as I restrain them tightly in a nice loop and bow,sealing it with another loving kiss.

He watches me bind his wrists, his smirk growing wider as he realizes I'm being extra gentle, almost nurturing. He feels cherished, not restrained. His hands are kissed like they're precious, not prisoners. He's never felt so...safe.

I then bring the crop ,gently trace it down his body,along his outstretched muscles, his ribs, down and up again.He shivers at the gentle touch of the crop, a instrument he's used to wield with dominance, now being used to caress him. The contrast is intoxicating, making his skin tingle with anticipation. He watches me with heavy-lidded eyes, his heart pounding in his chest,he arches his back in need.I gently tap it near his lower area. He arches his back, pushing himself into the gentle taps of the crop, craving more. He's used to giving orders, not taking them, and this reversal is driving him mad with desire. He looks down his body, watching me with hungry eyes, waiting for the next tap."now I will punish you a little bit for moving your hands to my waist without permission," I explain gently.He swallows hard, a thrill running through him at the thought of being punished ,by me the girl that begged him to cum only days before of all people. He's always been the one doling out punishment, not receiving it. He spreads his legs wider, inviting the punishment he knows is coming.seeing tommy like this, spread out, vulnerable, ready, relaxed, it made me almost proud of him. he was behaving for once, no shouting, no fighting for dominance, I was taming the wild horse with each gentle touch, I gently tap the crop on his leg and then his chest and then his arms and then his cock.

He shivers with each gentle tap, his body tingling with a mix of arousal and submission. He's never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, but also so safe and cherished. Each tap is a mark of my ownership, my claim over him. He's a willing captive, my obedient pet. I bite my lip as he closes his eyes in submission "no tommy look at me". He obeys immediately, opening his eyes to meet my gaze. There's a glimmer of submission in those usually fierce eyes, along with a deep, unspoken trust. He holds my gaze steadily, his breath catching as he awaits the next move, fully at my mercy yet somehow comforted by it.

I now climb back to his lap, grinding against his cock "do you deserve this tommy?" I keep grinding my folds on his hard cock .He inhales sharply as i grind against him, his cock hardening rapidly under the friction. The question hangs in the air, loaded with implication. He searches my eyes, realizing that in this moment, with me, he wants nothing more than to be deserving. To prove himself worthy of my touch. "Do you tommy?", His voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, filled with a raw, unguarded longing. "I want to. More than anything. I want to be the man you think I am, the man you see when you look at me like that.", his voice almost sounds like he is about to cry, a lump forms in his throat. "Come on tommy ..beg me.. ask me ", He swallows hard, his heart pounding in his chest. He's never begged for anything in his life, but the desire to be with me, to be claimed by me, is overwhelming. He drops his gaze, his voice barely audible as he speaks. "Please...please let me have you."

"what do you want to have tommy?" I ask in a seductive tone,the crop on his chest. He looks up at me through his lashes, his eyes flicking down to the crop on his chest. He swallows hard, his voice growing hoarser. "I want you...on top of me. I want you to sit on me, to control me, to make me behave...","good tommy,good horse" I slowly lower myself on him "remember if you move up your hips ill have to discipline you again",He whimpers as i sit on him, the sensation overwhelming as he tries to stay still, to be a good horse. He can feel me settling on top of him, the weight and warmth almost too much to bear. He's never felt so helpless, so dominated, yet so content.I slowly start to ride him, my very own stallion as desperate moans escape his lips "do you want me to go faster tommy".His breath hitches as i start to ride him, the pleasure building with each movement. He clenches his fists at his sides, fighting the urge to move his hips up to meet me. "Yes...please...I want it faster...I want you to ride me hard...". I smirk ,the irony wasn't lost on us ,words I begged him for before as well when he grabbed my hair from behind and bend me over a desk.He can feel himself losing control, his hips twitching up to meet mine against his better judgment. He's a horse, he tells himself, he must remain still.I feel his hips beg to push ,to take over control, I tilt my head "tommy relax, this is your night, you don't have to be in control all the time, you are safe here with me" I shush him again like a horse again. At my soothing words, he relaxes slightly, trusting me to guide him through this. He lets out a soft whine, his head dropping as he submits fully to your control. He feels his hips pushing up against me instinctively, but he forces himself to stay still, to trust you completely.I start to ride him faster, up and down up and down ,eventually my own desire overtakes me as I go harder, needy moans escape my own lips.He loses all control as i ride him harder, his hips bucking up to meet mine without any prompting. He cries out in pleasure, his voice echoing through the room as he's overwhelmed by the sensation of being thoroughly ridden. He's never felt so owned, so claimed. "Ah fuck...","good boys don't swear" I smirk as I keep riding harder, with a shaky moan.

He bites his lip to stifle any more curses, his eyes rolling back in his head. He's so close to the edge, his entire body trembling with the effort of holding back. He looks up at me with pleading eyes, begging for permission to come."what is it tommy ,what do you want tell me ,your use words ",He manages to choke out the words, his voice strained and desperate. "May I...may I come? Please, I can't hold it back any longer..." He gazes up at me, his eyes wide and imploring, completely at my mercy.

I let out a shaky breath ,feeling his cock twitch inside me sending me over my own edge, I look at his wrists ,knowing if I untie them, it would be over,the game will change, but God the desire is stronger, I quickly reach the silk ropes and untie him.As soon as his wrists are free, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer as he buries his face between my neck and shoulder. He's trembling with the effort of not taking over, of not flipping me beneath him and claiming me completely.I gasp as he sits up and nuzzles againts my neck, his cock buried inside me as I moan in his ear,we wrap around each other as I put my hands around his shoulders.His hands move to my waist, holding me tight as he thrusts up into me, his control completely shattered now that he's free. He nips at my neck, growling softly in my ear as he claims me properly. "You should've just let me stay tied up,"."don't pretend you didn't like it,"I say back in his ear.

His breath ghosts along my neck as he continues to thrust rhythmically "I shouldn't have enjoyed being dominated like that... but fuck, you made me..." His teeth nip slightly harder at my collarbone "You've made me something I never thought I'd be...","free?"

He pauses for a moment, his heart pounding as he searches for the right words. "Free to submit... free to love... free to be yours, entirely." He buries his face in the crook of my neck, his voice muffled as he speaks.I wrap my hands around him as he thrusts, the feeling of his hands on my body, God I didn't realise how much I missed it until he started touching every inch.He lifts his head, his eyes smoldering with an intense, passionate gaze. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as he feels my hands gripping his. "Missed my touch, have you?" His voice is a low a teasing rumble.

I bite my lip as orgasm overtakes me with a moan, forgetting my earlier dominating nature as I moan needily "t...tommy",I come undone around his cock and leave red marks on his back. Hearing his name slip so needily from my lips sends him over the edge. With a final deep thrust, he buries himself completely inside me,his own climax overtaking him. He groans loudly, the sound mixing with my moan in a harmonious symphony of pleasure.

after we both collaps to the sofa ,I breath heavily satisfied as I look to my side at him "do you feel better now tommy?". He opens one eye lazily to look at me, a rare genuine smile playing on his lips "Better? That's an understatement... you've just... unraveled me completely." He reaches out to gently stroke my hair "When did you become so masterful?"

I giggle and kiss his lips "I learned from the best ",His eyes soften with adoration as he kisses me back, gently but firmly, pulling me closer. "The woman who tamed Tommy Shelby... who'd have thought?" His fingertips trace lazy patterns on my back "And here I thought I was the dangerous one." He chuckles softly.

[chasedeys]

https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/771705964506333184

Y’all it’s been very clear Joe holds his moments and overall relationship tidbits about Ja’Marr as close as possible. Like he is always calculated with what he says , but you can see the gears turn when it’s a Ja’Marr related question and I find it so endearing. Ex. Week 2 after the shove around the world and how FLUSTERED he was trying to answer questions about it afterwards 😭😭

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ oh absolutely that man is sooooo careful about the way he speaks on his relationship with ja'marr, especially that kc game presser. i think i've talked abt this before in an ask or babbled abt it in some post tags?? but i do think he has been wayyy looser on the tongue these days really. like his past few pressers ever since hmm even before the switch up with tee really?? like there has legitimately been a rise of ja'marr levels of Insane Quotes from him about ja'marr and also about him and ja'marr now. like on him playing in a world without ja'marr (wow they really asked that. like they worded that question that way.) 'haven't had that, don't wanna have that', his opinions on ja'marr's playing 'always fun to watch', his triple crown goals 'i'll make sure he gets it', lsu questions, 'careers forever be tied together', getting ja'marr the fucking ball, etc etc. idk he's way laxer answering them now?? they're asking ja'marr his opinions and reaction to joe quotes on him now really wow. and we get such gems of ja'marr brightening up and giggling over it ougugughugh cute as hell.

but really on the touchiness thing -> taking account on how joe is with literally everybody else. again, he loves being touchy with people. smooching evan. head bonks and leaping body slams with ted, cappa, orlando, mims my favorite child, geno, mike g or h, chase b, yoshi, literally everyone on offense really, teeeeee his most beloved truly has there ever been a man more targeted with his tender affection than tee higgins. nuzzling his neck. insane. and bro-hugs and dapping opponents up pre-game and post-game is always something he does too right. like joe has always been free with physical affection you can't deny this.

so being physically close to someone isn't something he'd hide, really. why would he hide what he has with ja'marr? pinky shakes helmet slams, chest slaps, etc etc. countless moments caught on cameras that we've agonized over. but we've never seen joe be mindlessly affectionate with ja'marr the way he is with evan and tee and several other teammates (not as much as tee and evan though really lol)! which leads toooo this and this.

[wolfpackmuses]

I honestly can not believe 2024 is nearly over. Like, I really can't, this year has been kind of wild, in my opinion, and I think that's only leading into what I think is going to be an even wilder 2025.

As some of y'all might know, I had a few things happen this year in my personal life. I steamed ahead in my research for my master's degree (which is in the final phases now which is wild), I got an internship with the Weather Service over the summer to get some job experience, I traveled quite a few times to the Orlando area to visit my brother and sister, and most recently: I presented my research at a major conference in Washington D.C..

Not only did I do all of this, I had a fantastic year writing with all of you. I know my activity is all over the place and I have wild swings in when I want to actually write and all, but I have had a great year interacting with y'all and being able to meet so many great people. I don't think I had this much fun writing in a long time and the fact I added so many new muses to this blog (as well as making an entirely new one for my Baldur's Gate 3 OC, @bloodsoakedurge) added to the chaos that is this blog.

I have so many great threads and interactions I've had this year from all of you and I couldn't have asked for a more supportive community for me here on this blog. I didn't expect to be at the point I am now when I changed to a multiuse back in April 2023, but I think it might have been one of the best decisions I've ever made here on Tumblr. The fact it led to me meeting so many fantastic mutuals, so many great interactions, and that I have been able to share my joy of writing with all of you has been one of my favorite things to do in my spare time.

So from the bottom of my heart to all of you, I just want to say thank you. I genuinely could not have done all of this without y'all and I love all of you for your support over the past year or two since I rebranded this account. I don't think y'all will ever fully see how much I truly care about y'all, but just know that I absolutely do.

So here's to a fantastic New Year and to all the new muses I add along the way. Chaos has already been brewing with some of my new muses and I hope it can lead to me meeting so many more new and fantastic people in 2025.

Happy New Year from me to all of you. I hope all of you have a great New Year.

[astrxealis]

sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)

[neverendingford]

.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[britneyshakespeare]

I love my sister more than anything in the world